Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Sacred- Texts. Legends and Sagas. Note: this is a transcript of the movie produced. Obviously the original is copyrighted and anyone. Monty Python is a looney..- -sacred- texts editor.

The strictly unofficial script of the movie, done in a fit of boredom by [AHH. Jan. 87] Touched up again by [AHH 2. Jan. 89] (How time flies) Fixed by FDW and SAW. October 9. 4. Hypertext by SAW in November 9. Note: The script ends with the words. Contents: The Cast(in order of appearance [roughly]).

KING ARTHUR : Graham Chapman. PATSY : Terry Gilliam. Watch Little Women Download Full there. GUARD #1 : Michael Palin. GUARD #2 : John Cleese. MORTICIAN : Eric Idle. CUSTOMER : John Cleese. DEAD PERSON : ? DENNIS : Michael Palin.

Film overview, cast and crew, production and release information, media, and links.

Henry V is a history play by William Shakespeare, believed to have been written near 1599. It tells the story of King Henry V of England, focusing on events.

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WOMAN : Terry Jones. BLACK KNIGHT : John Cleese. VILLAGER #1 : Eric Idle. VILLAGER #2 : Michael Palin.

SIR BEDEMIR : Terry Jones. WITCH : ? VILLAGER #3 : John Cleese. NARRATOR: Michael Palin.

SIR LAUNCELOT : John Cleese. SIR GALAHAD : Michael Palin. SIR ROBIN : Eric Idle. GOD : ? FRENCH GUARD : John Cleese.

MINSTREL : ? LEFT HEAD : Terry Jones. MIDDLE HEAD : Graham Chapman. RIGHT HEAD : Michael Palin.

OLD MAN : Terry Gilliam. HEAD KNIGHT OF NEE : Michael Palin. FATHER : Michael Palin. PRINCE HERBERT : Terry Jones. GUARD #1 : Eric Idle. GUARD #2 : ? CONCORDE : Eric Idle. OLD CRONE : ? ROGER (THE SHRUBBER) : Eric Idle.

TIM (THE ENCHANTER): John Cleese. BROTHER MAYNARD: Eric Idle. SECOND BROTHER: Michael Palin. ARTHUR: Whoa there! GUARD #1: Halt! Who goes there? ARTHUR: It is I, Arthur, son of Uther Pendragon, from the castle. Camelot. King of the Britons, defeator of the Saxons, sovereign.

England! GUARD #1: Pull the other one! ARTHUR: I am. And this my trusty servant Patsy. We have ridden the length and breadth of the land in search of knights. Camelot. I must speak with your lord. GUARD #1: What, ridden on a horse?

ARTHUR: Yes! GUARD #1: You're using coconuts! ARTHUR: What? GUARD #1: You've got two empty halves of coconut and you're bangin'. ARTHUR: So? We have ridden since the snows of winter covered this.

Mercea, through- -. GUARD #1: Where'd you get the coconut? ARTHUR: We found them.

GUARD #1: Found them? In Mercea? The coconut's tropical! ARTHUR: What do you mean? GUARD #1: Well, this is a temperate zone. ARTHUR: The swallow may fly south with the sun or the house martin. Watch Everywhere And Nowhere Online Free HD more.

GUARD #1: Are you suggesting coconuts migrate? ARTHUR: Not at all, they could be carried. GUARD #1: What - - a swallow carrying a coconut? ARTHUR: It could grip it by the husk!

GUARD #1: It's not a question of where he grips it! It's a simple. question of weight ratios! A five ounce bird could not carry a 1 pound. ARTHUR: Well, it doesn't matter. Will you go and tell your master. Arthur from the Court of Camelot is here. GUARD #1: Listen, in order to maintain air- speed velocity, a swallow.

ARTHUR: Please! GUARD #1: Am I right? ARTHUR: I'm not interested! GUARD #2: It could be carried by an African swallow! GUARD #1: Oh, yeah, an African swallow maybe, but not a European.

GUARD #2: Oh, yeah, I agree with that.. ARTHUR: Will you ask your master if he wants to join my court. Camelot?! GUARD #1: But then of course African swallows are not migratory. GUARD #2: Oh, yeah..

GUARD #1: So they couldn't bring a coconut back anyway.. GUARD #2: Wait a minute - - supposing two swallows carried it together? GUARD #1: No, they'd have to have it on a line.

GUARD #2: Well, simple! They'd just use a standard creeper! GUARD #1: What, held under the dorsal guiding feathers? GUARD #2: Well, why not? MORTICIAN: Bring out your dead! Bring out your dead! Bring out your dead!

Bring out your dead! Bring out your dead! Bring out your dead! Bring out your dead!

Bring out your dead! Bring out your dead! Bring out your dead!

Bring out your dead! Bring out your dead! CUSTOMER: Here's one - - nine pence. DEAD PERSON: I'm not dead! MORTICIAN: What? CUSTOMER: Nothing - - here's your nine pence.

DEAD PERSON: I'm not dead! MORTICIAN: Here - - he says he's not dead! CUSTOMER: Yes, he is. DEAD PERSON: I'm not! MORTICIAN: He isn't.

CUSTOMER: Well, he will be soon, he's very ill. DEAD PERSON: I'm getting better! CUSTOMER: No, you're not - - you'll be stone dead in a moment. MORTICIAN: Oh, I can't take him like that - - it's against regulations.

DEAD PERSON: I don't want to go in the cart! CUSTOMER: Oh, don't be such a baby. MORTICIAN: I can't take him.. DEAD PERSON: I feel fine! CUSTOMER: Oh, do us a favor.. MORTICIAN: I can't.

CUSTOMER: Well, can you hang around a couple of minutes? He won't. MORTICIAN: Naaah, I got to go on to Robinson's - - they've lost nine.

CUSTOMER: Well, when is your next round? MORTICIAN: Thursday.

DEAD PERSON: I think I'll go for a walk. CUSTOMER: You're not fooling anyone y'know. Look, isn't there.

DEAD PERSON: I feel happy.. I feel happy. CUSTOMER: Ah, thanks very much. MORTICIAN: Not at all. See you on Thursday. CUSTOMER: Right. [clop clop].

MORTICIAN: Who's that then? CUSTOMER: I don't know. MORTICIAN: Must be a king. CUSTOMER: Why? MORTICIAN: He hasn't got shit all over him. ARTHUR: Old woman!

DENNIS: Man! ARTHUR: Old Man, sorry. What knight live in that castle over there? DENNIS: I'm thirty seven. ARTHUR: What? DENNIS: I'm thirty seven - - I'm not old! ARTHUR: Well, I can't just call you `Man'. DENNIS: Well, you could say `Dennis'.

ARTHUR: Well, I didn't know you were called `Dennis.'. DENNIS: Well, you didn't bother to find out, did you? ARTHUR: I did say sorry about the `old woman,' but from the behind. DENNIS: What I object to is you automatically treat me like an inferior! ARTHUR: Well, I AM king.. DENNIS: Oh king, eh, very nice.

An' how'd you get that, eh? By. exploitin' the workers - - by 'angin' on to outdated imperialist dogma. If there's ever going to be any progress- -. WOMAN: Dennis, there's some lovely filth down here. Oh - - how d'you do? ARTHUR: How do you do, good lady.

I am Arthur, King of the Britons. Who's castle is that? WOMAN: King of the who? ARTHUR: The Britons. WOMAN: Who are the Britons? ARTHUR: Well, we all are.

Britons and I am your king. WOMAN: I didn't know we had a king. I thought we were an autonomous.

DENNIS: You're fooling yourself. We're living in a dictatorship. A self- perpetuating autocracy in which the working classes- -.

WOMAN: Oh there you go, bringing class into it again. DENNIS: That's what it's all about if only people would- -. ARTHUR: Please, please good people.

I am in haste. Who lives. WOMAN: No one live there. ARTHUR: Then who is your lord? WOMAN: We don't have a lord. ARTHUR: What? DENNIS: I told you.

We're an anarcho- syndicalist commune. We take. it in turns to act as a sort of executive officer for the week. ARTHUR: Yes. DENNIS: But all the decision of that officer have to be ratified. ARTHUR: Yes, I see.

DENNIS: By a simple majority in the case of purely internal affairs,- -. ARTHUR: Be quiet! DENNIS: - -but by a two- thirds majority in the case of more- -.

ARTHUR: Be quiet! I order you to be quiet! WOMAN: Order, eh - - who does he think he is?

ARTHUR: I am your king! WOMAN: Well, I didn't vote for you.

ARTHUR: You don't vote for kings. WOMAN: Well, 'ow did you become king then? ARTHUR: The Lady of the Lake. Excalibur. from the bosom of the water signifying by Divine Providence that I.

Arthur, was to carry Excalibur. That is why I am your king!

DENNIS: Listen - - strange women lying in ponds distributing swords. Supreme executive power. ARTHUR: Be quiet!

DENNIS: Well you can't expect to wield supreme executive power. ARTHUR: Shut up! DENNIS: I mean, if I went around sayin' I was an empereror just. ARTHUR: Shut up! Will you shut up!

DENNIS: Ah, now we see the violence inherent in the system. ARTHUR: Shut up! DENNIS: Oh! Come and see the violence inherent in the system!

HELP! HELP! I'm being repressed! ARTHUR: Bloody peasant! DENNIS: Oh, what a give away.

Did you here that, did you here that. That's what I'm on about - - did you see him repressing me.

ARTHUR: You fight with the strength of many men, Sir knight. I am Arthur, King of the Britons. I seek the finest and the bravest knights in the land to join me. Court of Camelot. You have proved yourself worthy; will you join me?

You make me sad. So be it.

Directed by Peter Chelsom, this film is the English- language remake of Masayuki Suo's 1. Japanese version earned a record- breaking 9. United States box offices. Shall We Dance? revolves around John Clark (Richard Gere), a workaholic Chicago lawyer who, despite a respectable paycheck and loving family, is unable to shake the feeling that something in his life is missing. On a whim, John disrupts his normal evening commute to attend a dance class in hopes of meeting Paulina (Jennifer Lopez), a beautiful dance teacher he would occasionally spot gazing out of the studio windows.

Though Paulina quickly lays to rest any preconceived romantic notions John may have had about her, she nonetheless forms a bond with him that goes beyond those normally held by a teacher and student. Invigorated with his new hobby, John focuses his newfound enthusiasm into training for an upcoming dance competition; however, he chooses not to let his wife (Susan Sarandon) in on his plans. Unaware that dance may be, in fact, saving her marriage, John's wife becomes suspicious of all the time he spends away from home and hires a private investigator to find out whether or not her husband is having an affair. Ultimately, John is forced to examine how his old dreams fit in to his new life. Tracie Cooper, Rovi.